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The late night dreams

 Looking back in the past made me flustered, but instead of that, I look for the moments of pride, courage, determination, and the craziness of being the best. I am proud of that little girl who made it all in her own way. She got embarrassed, rejected, and failed but never gave up. She showed her inherent tenacity.  It's midnight, and my hands are full of tasks, but I am not eager to do any of them. Instead, I am trying to find something that takes me out of this realm. Eager to disappear in the vastness of gigantic universal clouds, just to contribute in the every expanding entropic system, as a dust particle.  Nothing is much denser than that hold of being something in this vivid world of illusion. Reality seems to be overrated, actually nobody even interested in it. Look at yourself where you stand?, at a bane of your existence or an intersection of your dreams,desires and expectations. The most hilarious of all this is, that everything you hit into is your choic...

4 Feb 2025

एक दशक पहले, सर्द हवाओं के बीच  सितारों की चादर ओढ़े, एक रात आई थी  दुल्हन को ले जाने, बाबुल के घर बारात आई थी  सभी संजोए ख्वाबों को जीने,  बिटिया के जन्म से लेकर अबतक की तैयारियों की,  सौगात आई थी  सौंपने को अपनी नन्ही कली का हाथ सुयोग्य वर को आज,  न्योछावर थी पिता की संचित श्री,  बिटिया का कहीं गौरव न घटे, बढ़ता रहे सुख, सौभाग्य उसका,  चाहत पिता की यही उसकी बिदाई पर थी। एक दशक पार कर आज फिर लौटी है वहीं रात  पर तब्दील हो गया है मंगलमय गीत, सन्नाटों के स्वर में  बधाई और अभिवादन, रिश्तों के खालीपन में  क्यूंकि ना बाबुल रहा, और ना ही उसकी बिटिया इस रात के साथ केवल उनकी यादें लौटी हैं। 🌼⚛️🦋

At the verge of letting go..

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Surrender to the Unknown I’m standing at the edge of everything I once held close—my dreams, my ambitions, the pride I once carried so fiercely. It’s not that I’ve stopped caring, but the weight of it all has grown too heavy. The constant struggle, the endless cycle of effort and disappointment, has left me drained. Maybe it’s time to let go. Not in defeat, but in surrender. To trust that the universe, in all its mystery, knows what’s best for me. I’ll embrace what comes, leaving behind the fight to control what I cannot. Divinity, take the lead—I’m ready to follow.

I erased it cause you may not like it..

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You are the one I have been looking for since the emergence of my existence. I looked at people, trees, sky, light, colours, and everything else, but you were lost in their identification. I heard about looking within,even felt it sometimes. You are present there. Sometimes, you manifest your true form,  and at some point, you deform into me. Your nature is unimaginably intricate yet the simplest. Hey, can you tell me who am I ? A traveller lost its way or a puppet of  play, does my emotins and tears matters or they are there to add a little drama to the play .  You are the greatest showman  indeed . I bow you. 

समय के अंत की और...

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 माना कि वह सभी आगे निकल जाएंगे, समय बीत जाएगा, परिवर्तन होगा, लक्ष्य बदल जाएंगे और प्राथमिकताएं भी । पर इंसान वही रहेगा, शायद आज जो करने में असमर्थता है, वह कहीं सरल बन जाएगा। मन की कुछ व्याधियों पार हो चुकी होगी। जीवन के करतब का दैनिक दर्शक बन उच्छृंखलता का विलोप भी संभव है…  कुल मिलाकर अंत में यही ठीक लगता है कि मैं स्वयं को बदलूं दूसरों की यात्रा से नजर हटा अपने भीतर नजर डालूं।अपने यात्रा के अगले पड़ाव की और बढ़ू क्योंकि यात्रा के मार्ग अलग हो सकते हैं उनमें हम आगे या पीछे हो सकते हैं पर गंतव्य तो एक ही है ना । और सुनो अगर तुमसे पहले और कोई उसे कर्तव्य तक पहुंच गया हो तो तुम हर्षित रहो क्योंकि हम सभी एक ही सर्वोत्तम के ही अंश है तो समझो उसकी वजह भी तुम्हारे ही विजय है जीवन मौलिक से उत्तम बनने की प्रक्रिया है जो निरंतर चलती रहेगी जब तक उत्तमता का सर्वाधिक विस्तार न हो जाए और ... अगर तुम विजई नहीं तो यह तुम्हारा अंत नहीं।

See you at the infinity ♾

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  Begin with irony. I could never be able to feel Her this much deep until We get apart forever. We both were ignorant just pretending to be fine … even if it wasn't!  This is our nature to always be indifferent. Compelled to keep back our true, wild, childish nature from the world. Just for the validation of judgmental society and surroundings. " She had always been obeying, but was it worth being like that?" Life is simple but yet profound. The more you experience, the lesser you pretend to be in the charge of it. It is not all in your hands. But still, you have small choices that create big differences and effects.  I LET HER GO,  Cause I'm am unable to help (Isn't it Contrary) She resists to refuse o ften reluctantly,  accepts all the ways of others like her own never existed. I am quite familiar with her unspoken speech  Sure, I was never there whenever she needs  But she knows me quite well, it was not intentional, And I was in grief ( See how el...

Who's She? She don't know!

 I feel that I'm not one, there are many selves within me, and each has its own abilities and disability. And I switch among these selves from time to time unknowingly, I have never chosen any of these selves but they are somehow present in my personality. Maybe they contain the reflection of my unseen life. Sometimes I even feel like I'm not many, besides having many selves within the very reason for this is the similarity in the values and principles.   If the question is " Who am I ?" the answer is "I'm the most  truthful, sern, honest, kind and pure-hearted soul I know." All the things related to this fragile life, the egoic one, (which loses its identity at times like it never existed) is a lie, an illusion we are identified with. But the reality, the truth which lies under this illusion is ultimate , penetrates through this layer of illusion to visualize the reality, the truth, the eternal. I find myself running from who I am. Sometimes unknowingl...